One Week Away

A week from right now, my baby girl will be in the operating room having her 4th open heart surgery.  To say I am okay would be a lie, I am absolutely terrifed right now.  I know it is the right time for this surgery and that God is in control and will be with her the whole time, but as a mom, it is just heart breaking knowing what she is about to go through. 

 

I was lying in bed last night thinking; the first surgery, we were just innocent.  We just did not fully grasp what was going on.  The second surgery, we were still nieve, but there were no other options at the time and we were desperate.  The third surgery, was a bit more difficult as Natalie was now 8 months old.  However, this surgery is a whole new ball game.  Natalie is 3 years old, she is talking walking and loving on all of us. Out of the blue at least 10 times a day, she will say, "I love you, Mommy."

 

As the time draws closer, my emotions are aweful.  I was awake last night until midnight crying, finally I went in and got her out of bed, just so I could snuggle with her and trust me she is a snuggler, like sharing your pillow kind of snuggler. 

I ask you all to please join me in this week and the weeks to come to pray Pslam 91 over our family...

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress,

My God, in whom I trust!"

For it is He who delievers you from the snare of the trapper,

And from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with His pinions,

And under His wings you may seek refuge;

His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.

 

You will not be afraid of the terror by night,

Or of the arrow that flies by day;

Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness,

Or the of the destruction that lays waste at noon.

A thousand may fall at your side,

And ten thousand at your right hand;

But it shall not approach you.

You will only look on with your eyes,

And see the recompense of the wicked.

For you have made the Lord, my refuge,

Even the Most High, your dwelling  place."

 

 

I was given a book, God's Shield of Protection, Psalm 91, by Peggy Joyce Ruth, 3 years ago by my sister in law.  I could not pick it up and read at that time, my mind was not in the right place to sit down with a book and then I eventually just placed it on my shelf and forgot about it.  After finding out that Natalie was going to have surgery again, I started to get anxiety and knew I needed a good book to read.  I saw this on the shelf and thought, this will work for now.  Wow, I was in for a surprise.

 

Psalm 91, has been a huge blessing for me this summer as I prepare for Natalie's upcoming surgery.  The pslam has giving me a since of peace when I need it the most. 

 

"He will cover you with His pinions and under His wings you may seek refuge" Psalm 91:4.  God is always there and he will cover us, but we have to run to Him; He does not come to us.  Just like a mother hen, she spreads her wings and calls out and the little chicks come running to her. 

 

Satan knows our weakness and takes advantage of that.  Just last week, our Sunday school class was having a little prayer service for us.  I thought the day was going to run smoothly.  Satan knew how to get to me that day so by the time I made it to the prayers service I would be frustrated and my heart just not there or he thought. The lady who was going to help with the Carter the first week of October backed out, Carter came home from school in the worst mood and it was a constant battle all day with emotions.  Finally, at about 4:30pm, I stood in my kitchen about to cry and said out loud, which I never do, "Satan, you will not win this over me today, go away." Now, did my kids stop crying immediatlely, no, but by the time we walked into that prayer service, we all were calm and had a since of peace about us. 

 

Satan has been attacking me alot lately, because he knows I am fragile right now, but he is not going to win.  In Ephesians 6:16 God tells us, "We have a shild of faith to extinguish all the flaming darts of the emeny."

 

So I ask you all to prayer Psalm 91 over my family this week as we continue to prepare for Natalie surgery next Monday.