My sister-in-law asked us to write down what we are "Thankful" for this season so we could read them after our Thanksgiving lunch. My first thought was I do not think there is a enough time in a day or enough paper for me to write down all I am thankful for this year.
I have been blessed beyond what I could only image this year. I had such fear and anxiety leading up to Natalie's surgery, that could not sleep most nights and if I thought about it all too much, I would break down and cry.
I know God says in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
There is just something as a mom, knowing your daughter is about to have her 4th open heart surgery. How can you not worry a little? I still have that knacking thought I the back of my head, that my dad passed away so that when Natalie earns her angel wings, it won't be so hard for me in a weird way. I know that is not the case for right now; right now my dad is in Heaven so that when Natalie had her surgery, she was would be held in his arms and Jesus arms while she was on the bypass machine. I have no doubt in my mind that Natalie has met some of the most amazing people in Heaven while she was there briefly during her surgeries.
I never brought this up the days following Natalie's surgery. Once they are in surgery, someone from the O.R. calls every hour to update you on the progress. Well, after the first call you pretty much memorize the time so you know about when to expect the next call. I mean, you can not take your eyes off the clock, it is a horrible feeling. Every time the phone rings, whether it was for you or the other family in the room, the entire waiting room goes silent. It is just the understood respect you have for one another, because you feel a little of the pain and worry they are going through at that very moment.
Well, there was a small period, where we did not get a call for a hour and half. I just sat there watching the minutes tick away, freaking out every time I saw a doctor pass the waiting room. I have never felt so helpless at that very moment in my entire life. Finally, I went to the front desk trying to keep it together the best I could. Of course, everything was fine. The nice lady from the O.R. apologized and said they were waiting on the echo results before she called me, because Natalie was off bypass but depending on the results they sometimes put them back on bypass. She basically wanted to give me the best information possible; I totally understand, but for 30 minutes I prayed so hard for fear of losing my baby girl.
So to write down what I am thankful for this year, might be a mile long, but I thought I would give you a short list...
I am thankful for:
- Natalie...For her being here with us today and for making our world what is it; My miracle baby
- Carter...For his health and for making life so fun and interesting; I love my little man
- Larry...For being my rock all these years and the love of my life
- My mom and Larry's parents...We would not be the people we are today with out you all and we definitely could not do everything without you
- Friends and Family...You have all shown me what a true friend is and I am blessed to have you all in my life
- Children's Medical Center...For the amazing doctors and nursers there. We owe you my daughter's life
- Prayer Warriors...Because of you, my daughter is still alive...Thank you!
I could go on forever, but that is a brief overview. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams this year and so thankful for all the amazing men and women, who have touched our lives this year through prayer and support.
"Learn to appreciate difficult days. Be stimulated by the challenges you encounter along your way. As you journey through rough terrain with Me, gain confidence from your knowledge that together we can handle anything. This knowledge is comprised of three parts: your relationship with Me, promises in the Bible, and past experiences of coping successfully during hard times.
Look back on your life, and see how I have helped you through difficult days. If you are tempted to think, "Yes, but that was then, and this is now," remember who I Am! Although you and your circumstances may change dramatically, I remain the same throughout time and eternity. This is the basis of your confidence. In My Presence you live and move and have your being."
Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
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